Are you really turning 45?
I get asked this question a lot. It's flattering to say the least. Most people guess I'm younger — like 43 or 44 which is actually pretty close to my actual age, but a bit off. I think it's the hair. I was born in 1973. Holy shit! I still have my faculties and my memory sometimes slips a bit. Wait, what was the question again?
(To the right of this text box is me in 4th grade with my pet bunny Flopsy. It looks as though I may have been stoned. It was the early 80's so it could have been cocaine. Having said that, I don't think cocaine made it to Western Pennsylvania, or if it did, no one cared to try it. I loved watching Miami Vice, though.)
What time does the party start?
I'll be there a bit early side, like 7am. Just kidding! I'll still be asleep at that time: I'm old! 2pm to 5pm. At 5pm, the bar opens to 'regular people'.
Why do you always throw birthday parties for yourself?
As a youngest child ENFP enneagram 7 Aquarius diagnosed with ADHD, I don't think I need to explain myself to you.
What can I bring?
A positive attitude & a photo ID. You can bring some cash to tip your bartenders if you like. Drinks are on me. Their cocktails are pretty stellar.
Should we bring a gift?
Based on the sardonic tone of this FAQ, you may have a hard time accepting the sincerity of the answer which is this: your presence alone is the gift I will most treasure.
Is there food?
Third Rail cures their own jerky: beef, chicken, buffalo, vegan, etc. There's also a taco joint next door, or BBQ up the street which you're welcome to bring in to bar.
Can I bring friends?
You bet! The more the merrier! Be advised if they are an idiot, they'll get kicked out. Then you'll be silently judged by the whole bar. You, yourself, will be welcomed to stay at that point but why bother? Your reputation will already be tarnished, and your judgement called into question. So my point here is choose your friends wisely.
I have a gluten/peanut/mold allergy: will there be gluten/peanuts/mold?
If this is your question, there is a strong possibility you've come to the wrong party's website.
